What Once Was
by thepenguinaw1
Summary: Ruby's first visit to her mother's grave in four years has her emotions running higher than they had been in years, but luckily Blake is there to help her through, she always is after all.


What Once Was

There is a click at the door, and within a second it swings open. A feminine figure dressed in red and black walks through. She closes the door behind her, the sound of metal tapping metal resonates in the near-silence of the apartment, remind her just how inhuman she has become. This last trip just reminded her of how far she has gone astray from her original life as a child.

 _She is walking along a decrepit path through an ominous forest that once was a place of joy and wonder when she was a child. Once tall, proud redwoods now stood broken and weeping, the heavy presence of Grimm having taken an obvious toll on them, as it had the surviving wildlife. There were once roses that lined this path, but they had not grown here for many years, not since Her death. Her gravestone is up ahead, it's where she's headed._

 _Ruby's obvious melancholy attracts all the wrong kinds of attention, but she was ready for it, unlike her mother had been. This time, the Rose was armed with thorns, and shreds the Beowolf pack that had done the same to her mother so many years ago._

 _Once the slaughter completes, she continues up to the point, the reason for her journey mere feet in front of her. It's the first time she has visited the grave in the last four years, as after the first year of Beacon, things only got more complicated._

 _The gravestone is paltry in comparison to the woman who once was but now lies beneath. It is crumbling, has been for the past few years as the elements weren't gently on the edge of the cliff. As she stares as it, a sliver of stone detaches from the right side, synchronized with the solitary tear that detaches from her eye. What she wouldn't give to have one surviving memory of the woman that everyone claims her to be so alike to, what she wouldn't give to remember for just one moment what it was like to be held in her arms, safe, her family whole. What she wouldn't give to remember anything, even if only transient._

She turns and regards her apartment, even though she's seen it enough to walk through it blind-folded comfortably. Everything was quant, despite the wealth acquired through many missions as huntresses. Everything in it has a purpose, everything is where it is because that is its most efficient location, so very much like the one who set it all up.

The one who set it all up, that's right, there is one person that could make this night better, and she's sitting on their makeshift bunkbed's lower level (one thing she couldn't let go of after Beacon), staring at Ruby. This isn't unexpected, nor is it unappreciated.

With Blake's eyes on her, Ruby begins removing her gear, just letting it fall to the floor around her, until she is in her undershirt and undergarments. Blake continues to start, looking both at and through her at the same time, looking for physical and mental aliments, though somehow never judging.

Ruby begins lumbering forwards, not due to any amount of physical impairment or strain, but because of the complete depletion of her mental stamina. As she nears the bed, Blake moved herself back until she touches the wall behind, and spreads her legs, sending a silent invitation.

When she reaches the bed, she doesn't hesitate to begin crawling towards Blake, and once she gets there, turns herself around and sits down, finally able to relax, with what must be the best massage chair in existence behind her. Blake's arms don't start working on her back however, instead this time they come around her front, lock, and tighten along with her legs, completely trapping Ruby, ensnaring her in a trap that she would gladly be caught in for months if given the opportunity. She can tell something is still weighing on her lover, as she hasn't truly let her guard down yet. She would normally be much more affectionate, but tonight, she was silent and still.

She didn't remain still for long, as within seconds, Blake felt her shaking, a slight thing at first, but slowly developed into clear sobs. All she can do is squeeze tighter and move her face into the valley of Ruby's neck, become a larger presence than whatever is weighing on her mind, become the counterbalance to the lead crushing her spirit. This rarely happened any more, only on a special occasion like today. From what Blake understood, this was a long overdue visit for Ruby, one she had to make alone, though she didn't have to deal with it alone any more, never again, Blake would make sure of that.

How many times has she broken down like this, only for Blake to be there, never pressuring, never forcing, only offering herself as a rock to cling to in a stream so turbulent she would surely be swept away in, were it not for Blake. How many times has she relied on Blake when no one else could be relied upon, not even her own family? How many times had Blake saved her life, both physically and mentally? How could she ever hope to repay her, how could she ever truly earn her love? She gave it so naturally, though so selectively that it felt a privilege to have been chosen, it still does. That is why Ruby must repay her, for all she has done.

As time crawls, Ruby's breaths become less erratic, her tears stop falling and finally dry up. She turns around, and they make eye contact, as Ruby leans forward, her lips mere millimeters from Blake's own, before Blake's hand stops her advance.

 _You don't have to._

 _I want to. Please._

…

…

 _Okay…_


End file.
